It's been a little of a strange week for me as on the one hand I feel utterly calm and content. I've worked out the things I want to focus on a bit more being reading, eating a bit healthier and this blog, but also saving some money and living in the everyday. However on the other hand I feel all in a fluster under homework, school letters and announcements, birthday parties and a mountain of Open Uni work. I'm feeling very dishearten about my course at the moment, I don't have a whole lot of motivation for it and I'm struggling to put the work in when there's so much to do in the home. I'm not really enjoying the topic either and I have this feeling of wanting to hibernate.
It worries me my SAD may be starting to rise like it does this time of year and whilst so far I've been feeling pretty well, evenings seem to be my worst time. I just want to crawl into bed once the boys go and read until I fall asleep. I'm enjoying the escapism of reading at the moment and it really makes me feel totally calm. So when it comes to that "I really must be doing.." my mind does the whole clam up, irritable thing, but I've recognised it's a pattern of evenings so I'm becoming more aware to make sure I do things in the day so I can have that evening space. It really does make me realise I sound like a petulant child when I read that back, but you've just got to work through these things the best way you can right?
So this week has been a mixture of feelings, but I'm pleased to get back to a little normality after the exciting festive period. We had a really lovely Christmas and a quiet New Year, but it's lovely to see Freddie get back into the swing of little school tales and having that one on one time with Noah. I realised the other day that he'll be starting Nursery this September and it's going to be so odd thinking of him being old enough to attend. He's going to love it though as he loves bouncing out the door taking Freddie to school so I think'll be exciting for him. However I'm going to make the most of him being my little follower at home for the time being!