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The Moment I Couldn't Wait


Here I sit propt up in bed on early Christmas morning, 2.39am to be percise and I can't sleep for the life of me. I know it's this because I'm so excited to see you bounce into my room in a mere 4ish hours.

 This year I struggled to really come to terms that December was about to arrive, because it somehow doesn't sit right with me. I think in all honestly it scared me to think that another year has gone by and it gets me left wondering what I've done for yet another 12 months of my life.

Then I know exactly what I've been doing, and that's being a Mum to you boys.

It wasn't until the other night we began wrapping the specially selected presents, that I realised. Everything we do is with you little monkey's in mind. You're my biggest source of inspiration and the very reason I have a smile on my face.

We started wrapping the main present, Freddie's main present. Thunderbirds Interactive Tracy Island, with the Wearable International Rescue Communicator no less! It's been the one thing you've hounded us for these last few months and I'm so happy that we've been able to get that for you.

We spoke of how excited you'll be and how we literally expect you to spontaneously combust on Christmas Morning (I really hope you don't, in a literal sense!).
I wrote this note with tears in my eyes, because it hit me how magical Christmas really is for you. This morning we laid in bed and discussed how there's only 1 sleep left, we've baked shortbread men and decorated them, tracked Santa's journey where you waited a whole 40 minutes for him to begin his journey!, we've watched Christmas films and read the Christmas story with all the family.

I know in the morning we'll have to slow you down. Remind you to take note of what you've got before you rip into the next present. I know I'll have to tell you to read this note. I can't wait to see the look in your eyes when you open it and I fear I may get a little weepy or maybe I'll just laugh, we'll see how it goes. (But at the moment I feel I'm leaning towards balling my eyes out!)

That is the moment that I couldn't wait for Christmas. Knowing how excited you feel and remembering that, 20 years ago, I was in your shoes. Waiting and dying of frustration because the days seem so damn long, but getting to the day and soaking up all the happiness.
I'm not usually the one to get you loads of presents, as we say it's too much in one go, but this year I felt like I wanted to give you everything you could dream up. I don't think either of you will go disappointed as you have a special set of relatives. You deserve it for just being yourselves.

I can't wait to see your face, or your brothers. I can't wait for the morning.

I have a confession. Every year before I go to bed I think about Santa coming to visit in the night whilst we're all sleeping and something stirs in me with excitement; which is crazy really as I set out your presents before we set off up the stairs. Remember boys, Christmas means everything for us as it does for you - you don't lose the magic once you have little ones it grows tenfold, a little like my heart has.

Merry Christmas my cheeky little elves. May I hope you have a magical day.
And Merry Christmas to you reading this x

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