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If there's one thing I've learnt..


Life in general teaches us lessons, but I don't think, personally it's until you've either lost someone important whether that's a physical or emotional sense or until you've become a mother.

I'm naturally a reflective person but it's not until something that hits me in the face that I really take a second look of what I've got - now I know I've spoken about this kind of thing many a time on this blog but just recently I've found myself being very protective of people. Now that may be a strange thing to say as of course I'm going to be protective of my little family and my other close relatives and even that small number of special friends.. but I've found it's gone beyond that this last week.



This week it's felt personal; and I can't really explain why, but I suppose when something hits a nerve you have to say your piece regardless of who's listening. And this week I did that, because I was quite sick of something I see on a regular basis all over social media and in life in general and that's being ignorant and showing a lack of empathy towards another person.
If you don't follow me on Facebook then you won't really know much about this, but I follow a lot of 'Baby Pages' for example Emma's Diary and it generally shares people's concerns and their questions - usually to see if anyone has been in a similar situation which I imagine would be amazing advice if you were to ever need it as a mother. I enjoy reading these pages just to see what people think and also to keep an eye open on something that'd be personally helpful in my situation. I rarely post unless I have an experience I feel will help the poster; but there's one thing that really makes me genuinely feel sad is the way that some mothers reply on this posts.
I have to admit it often annoys me but I move on, but the other day I saw a comment which I felt completely overstepped the mark and wasn't something a mother should ever write to another human, let alone a mother who clearly wrote with a issue that was hugely affecting her. This time it really bothered me and so I wrote something that was polite but direct and it really surprised me because I never really do that. I'm a reader, not necessarily a writer on them pages but I found it so infuriating.

It may be a case of feeling particularly touchy that day, hormonal or the sorts, but I hate seeing people willingly judge outright to someone who has clearly express their guilt on a subject. It's cruel and it made me realise that people are often not quite nice.I understand having a view but to belittle a person because you don't relate to the situation is horrible and I'll never find the answer to why they bother commenting.

I felt protective of that pregnant woman because I've been there; I understand how hormones and your thoughts can run wild, I understand that it can feel very isolating, despite it happening females all over the world.
I felt ashamed of the people attacking her for her thoughts when in reality she probably just wanted to hear some encouragement, to realise that she's not the worst mother-to-be on the planet for feeling that particular way. I felt ashamed they thought it'd be the right way to correspond with her.

I feel motherhood should be one big gang where you feel, moan and talk about the things that are great and talk about the bad - because like everything, there's good and bad. Parenting is hard and so is pregnancy in other senses.
From that page it made me think 'Is this another reason for why there's so many cases of Post Natal Depression?' - Do people try and talk about how they're feeling yet get shut down as soon as they've opened their mouth? Does someone come along and say something that makes them keep shut? I know it'd make me feel a million times worst for thinking it, so I imagine it does. I feel as a mother, I naturally care and love as my 'job description' and y'know what? As a human in general. Isn't it heartbreaking when you realise all the mothers that have slated that woman are supposed to be a part of that motherhood gang - the gang that I'd like to think is there to help and push up the support for everyone who is doing their best at parenting? They tore her down.

Talking of tearing down, the talk of the Paris attack has made me very emotional for the people who are suffering. There's always so much suffering in the world. Them poor innocent people who have been taken without a moments notice. There's no words really to explain the sadness.
It's really the time where I hold my babies close and just realise how quick the happiness can be taken from us all; this extends to Children in Need which is so hard for me to watch. I cry at the thought of watching it, because it breaks my heart for all the families and charities despite it being so uplifting as well as heart wrenching (how?!). That one programme shows how much good is about and I make sure to donate every year, because not every situation is a happy one. I also like to think if I was ever in that situation, it would meet me with a little kindness too.

I find myself in this bubble feeling fiercely protective of my little ones. I've equally felt blessed and sad for my little men. So what have I learnt this week? That the world and the people within it are quite bizarre. There's some heartwarming things happening and some that will make us feel angry. I suppose it's all down to opinion, but I still feel there's so many people who could benefit from realising that.

My word of the week is Outburst. I think it suits how my nature has been.

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4 comments:

  1. I can understand your outrage and frustration. I am always shocked when mothers judge one another so quickly and so caustically, too. Well done you or stepping in. And yes, the other atrocities that surround us do make you feel extremely protective, too, absolutely. Thanks for sharing with #WotW x

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    1. It is really shocking isn't it? I always think you should think about it before posting because how would we feel to receive that comment? If it's not nice - probably not a good idea to post! X

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  2. Totally understand we shouldn't judge but people do great post thanks for linking to the Binkylinky

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    1. Yes it's sad how people do it so quickly! X

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