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WHOA.


My week has been completely filled with whoa moments, I feel like I've been running on a treadmill - constantly going but not really getting anywhere. It's getting scarily close to when the big boy heads off to school and after this week I'm getting to the point where I'm a teeny weeny kinda.. looking forward to it? I KNOW RIGHT.
If you've followed this blog for any amount of time you'll know that I've been massively emotional of letting go of my eldest boy and that I didn't really want to ever let him go, but. Hmm, but the Summer Holidays have been so exhausting, busy and very exciting, but I know he's just getting bored of being at home, he need something to focus his brain on and I feel like I'm a little crap around the edges for being all going. I try my best; we've done activities, made some things, coloured, talked for countless hours, read books and the TV and Gameboy have been saviours at many times, because lets face it, there's not enough hours or money in the world to (okay in someone's world there probably is, but not in mine) constantly entertain them. And then I feel immensely guilty for feeling that way. However I think he'll be glad to see his friends again as we had a playdate with his best friend this week and he loved it, he really enjoyed seeing someone his age for a while and it was nice to feel like I had a little break chatting to his mum over two cuppas - two hours makes a difference!

I'm off for a girls couple of nights away in Birmingham come tomorrow and I cannot wait to just have a break, a child free couple of days to collect my brain and refill my patience bank (I'm handing the baton over to Chris till Tuesday night) because I feel like I'm not very good at it all at the moment - know them odd moments where you're thinking 'I don't really like being Mummy at the moment'? I've been having a few moments like that this week, especially when the boys have been having their fall outs it just makes everything feel unnecessarily stressful but we purposefully split them up for a half day yesterday whilst Freddie & I had hair cuts and collected most of his school things (we're nearly done!) and they've been okay today so I think it gave them that 1-1 time they needed and a little break to breathe.
It's hard being a parent in whatever quantity over a intense period of time but like my friend pointed out, I've gotten this far and haven't been stressed until these last couple of days so I think they can haunt you into feeling like you're worse than you are. But, we've been food shopping today and they've got a couple of treats over the days I'm gone - they're also going to Nanny's tomorrow morning till Daddy finishes work at 3 so that'll be something exciting for them to do for a while.. We've got just under 2 weeks until home run and we've done just fine really. I'm just so good at making myself feel incredibly guilty for everything I do and don't do - I'm just going to enjoy tonight and then have some fun with them in the morning getting ready (because I know I'll miss them when I go!)


The Reading Residence

6 comments:

  1. I think that that break is very much needed! Have fun =) #wotw

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    1. Yeah I think it really is, makes a world of difference just checking out for a moment :) xx

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  2. Guilt seems to be part and parcel of parenting, doesn't it? Enjoy your break away, sounds like it's come at just the right time for you x Thanks for sharing with #WotW

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    1. Oh it really is isn't it!? It's such a haunting feeling, usually after a day where I've snapped sadly. Thank you it really did :) xx

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  3. I hope your break does you good xx

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    1. Thank you :) I'm feeling very relaxed xx

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