I think as parents in general, we really put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be the best parents about.
I know when I was pregnant and a new mum with Freddie I would constantly fret about being 'decent' for the job. I can't tell you the amount of times I burst into tears over the thoughts that I was completely rubbish and that he hated me. But, I carried on getting through the bad day and did all that I thought would be a 'good' parent.
I'm silly for thinking that. I know that now and I know that everyone has teary days where nothing you do feels like enough. Days where you feel like a massive Drama Queen over the fact that something isn't done right or how you want it to be. Tiny, insignificant things, that on a good day wouldn't bother you.
There's so much out there these days that tell you what you should and shouldn't do with your kid/s. Often you never know which way to turn - but I've found that I've ignored everything since having Noah. I ate what I wanted in pregnancy (pretty much all of the things they tell you, you shouldn't eat whilst pregnant, I dislike anyway!) and I fed him the amount he wants to drink rather than the 'recommended', I weaned him when he was 14 weeks even though the Health Visitors groaned that he wouldn't be able to digest it properly (he's still alive and is madly in love with homemade sausage casserole & egg custard). I now somewhat laugh on my fretful past.
Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't listen to any advice out there, because you should, but apply it to how you feel is appropriate. As a Mum you begin to realise over time (well over a year for me!) that your gut instinct is your most powerful tool in life. You know your baby. Despite what any article may try and make you wonder otherwise. They genuinely scare the life out of you, feeling like you're doing something wrong when all you're trying to do is your job..
Freddie is now a 3 1/2 year old and he's such a lovely lad (slightly bias I'm sure!). He's bright, funny, cheeky and can talk for England. I'm so proud of all the things he can do and he very often surprises me with new things!
I've recently found that I'm almost worrying about the next part of his life. He's so independent for his age, loves Nursery and life in general, but I can't seem to get him to fully commit to toilet training. And it is so frustrating as a parent, to really encourage your child to do something that they have no interest in whatsoever. It's frustrating that no matter how many conversations you have, it doesn't really progress. That he will give any task you present him with, his best efforts, but the word 'toilet' seems to bring on the biggest paddy fit ever.
Freddie has always been amazing for being really reasonable when asking him to do things, and we glided through what was supposed to be the terrible two's and pretty much most of 3's!
It just appears to be this one thing, and really, I'm finding it hard to know where to lean.. I've asked for advice from my Mum who said "he'll do it in his own time, he's like Charlie (my youngest brother) he didn't care about it - I mean he still wet the bed when he was 7! But he stopped one day and he's never done it since, I guess he'll be the same" and whilst it's very comforting to know that he will no doubt grow out of it, I just wish I could do something.
Don't get me wrong he wears pants and he goes every time you take him! But he will never ask - why is it so hard!? Why won't he tell me? Why does it feel like it'll never end?
It doesn't help when it feels like it's a race to get to the end. In the Nursery corridor you hear so much about other parents views, which is often nice, but very often seems boastful or BS. I heard the other week that one of the parents kids were put in pants one day and they said to her "you've got to be in pants now" and that was it, she went every time after that.. how true is that likely to be? No accidents, no struggles? I should've asked more about it at the time. I mean if it was true, that's fantastic - but I don't think it's like that for everyone. It's really down to the child.
I know that sometimes I'm harsh to him about it and most of the time I'm very laid back about it (with a few grumbles). I guess the one thing I can rely on is the thought that you don't tend to see grown men walking down the street in pull ups or randomly wetting themselves!
I am aware it's my silly head going into overdrive and worrying about something that will resolve itself, but sometimes you need a place to say it and today it's here. That feeling of wanting to make sure you are doing the best you can, never seems to go away - and I can see I'm putting pressure on myself, but sometimes it's hard to ease it off.
Do you have any toilet training tips? Was your kid/s hard to toilet train? Any advice would be fantastic :)